wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
