I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize