a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my being single is dangerous.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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