reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
