Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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