You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
oh god was she eating orange peels again
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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