Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I need water and some morals
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
