do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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