Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
