Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize