Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
