The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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