I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
