need another drink. this is the easiest way
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You dont lie about slip and slides
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
