I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize