Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
