I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
