She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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