Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
