can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
