it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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