I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
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