u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We need to get me chipped asap
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
