bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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