the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I understand Curling. That high.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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