I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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