hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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