I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
