Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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