trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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