cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
