New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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