dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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