so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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