either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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