what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize