I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
