The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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