yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
