Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
cat food counts as protein by the way
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
