I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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