let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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