It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
