i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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