In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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