I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
