he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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