just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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