Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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