whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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