I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
