so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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