I bet he comes in French.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
