is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
