You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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