Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
