Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
