If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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