Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize